Volume 5, Issue 14

Newsletter Date:  November 19, 2015


You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of whom I am allowed to have 300. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about life insurance company correspondents. And, of course, we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and, for you fellow Neanderthals who watch mixed martial art fights, a video with a collection of knockouts.

Joke Du Jour

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was some serious concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.

The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues, it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. The MTA then hired an ornithological behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always post a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could easily shout, "Cah," not a single one could shout, "Truck."

Kids, Don't Make Me Come Up There

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

And don't forget, we will quickly and happily issue you a written Loan Approval Letter - at no charge - that you can use as a fallback and to lure cheaper lenders. After all, everyone wants to lend to you if you already have a commitment. Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

1743 Joke

"Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off." -- Conan O'Brien

Life Insurance Company Correspondents

Life insurance companies offer by far the lowest rates on large commercial permanent loans. You will recall that a permanent loan is just a garden variety first mortgage on a commercial property, with a term of at least 5 years and with at least some amortization, typically 25 years.

When you are the prettiest girl at the dance, lots of guys want to ask you to dance. Screening twenty loan requests per day takes a lot of time. In addition, it doesn't make sense for most life insurance companies to open regional offices throughout the country, especially when the typical life company makes fewer than 30 loans per year - but these are huge, huge loans.

Therefore most life companies employ correspondents. A correspondent is a commercial mortgage company that has the exclusive right to make commercial loans in a given region for a particular life company. The correspondent does all of the site inspections for prospective loans in that region for that life company. It then services the loan (collects the payments and handles any foreclosures) for that life company.

If you were to call a life insurance company directly, they would ask you for the location of the property and then refer you to the appropriate correspondent. You can apply to a dozen different life companies using C-Loans.com.

Need a commercial loan smaller than the life company minimum of $5 million? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

In Fairness, I Was Right Behind Her

Age Joke

I was applying for a job and the employment application clearly stated: "Age of Father (if living)," and the same question for my Mother. I put down the figures 105 and 94 in the spaces provided. The interviewer asked if my parents were truly that old. I replied, "No, but they would be if they were still living."

Sweet Apartment Loan Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has a terrific apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. Our fixed rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

God's Email Joke

One day God was looking down on Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out, so he called one of his best angels and sent her to Earth for a while. When she returned, she told God, "Yes it is bad on Earth - 95% of the people are bad and only 5% are good." God considered this news for a moment and then decided to send a second angel to get another point of view. When the second angel returned, he too reported that the Earth was in decline. Ninety-five percent of the people were bad, and just 5% were good. God was saddened, but he decided to send an e-mail to the good 5% in order to encourage them and to give them strength. Do you know what that e-mail said? Oh, you didn't get one either, huh?

Small Balance Preferred Equity ($100K to $1MM)

If an investor wants to buy a leased commercial property, banks today will seldom lend more 58% to 62% LTV. Your buyer only wants to put down 25% of the purchase price

Quick, easy preferred equity from Blackburne & Sons fills in the missing piece of the capital stack. We'll add our $150,000 in equity dollars to your client's $250,000 down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank. Think of our preferred equity as tiny Joint Venture investments.

For more information, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

I Feel So Foolish

Locks Joke

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. Whenever I go out, I always lock every other one. I figure, no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three for each three they unlock!

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Video - 10 Muay Thai Knockouts

Pretty violent. Watch at your own risk

On a Personal Note

I just got back from a week long vacation with the family. We went on a cruise to the Cayman Islands, Jamaica, and then the Bahamas. The weather was amazing and the time away from work was even better. We got to swim in the ocean, snorkel amongst a plethora of sea animals, and even kiss a wild string ray! But despite the unique experiences, the best part about the vacation was sharing the memories with my parents. Now, there is an argument to be made that spending time with one’s parents is in no way a “vacation”, but I would disagree and here is why: As I have gotten older, the way I view my parents has changed. I no longer think of them solely as a means for guidance (and financial help in desperate times!). I have actively pursued getting to know them not as parents, but rather as individuals, separate from each other. And because of this, the highlight of my vacation was sipping CocoLoco’s with them on the beach of Coco Cay, reminiscing on the wonderful adventures we had just experienced together.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.

(Actual letter): "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S. , from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our (darn) loan?"

The loan was approved.

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Contact Information

Tom Blackburne
BRE# - 01919403
NMLS# - 1014118
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
Phone: (574) 210-6686
Fax: (916) 338-2328
: tommy@blackburne.com


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4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
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