You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about the huge glut of commerial mortgage money in the market. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny Robin Williams video.

Joke Du Jour

A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew." "Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?" "Just once," the man replied. The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?" The man said, "I was looking for my father."

Al Capone Used To Have a Hideout in Knox, Indiana, Just One Small Town Over From Me

Private Money Commercial Permanent Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Do you need a purchase money lender who will actually go to 75% loan-to-value? Blackburne & Sons has decided to compete against banks by being far more aggressive on loan-to-value ratio. We are very bullish on commercial real estate.

Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national?

Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other invest-ments, etc.? Do you need a loan against a portfolio of single family homes?

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Boss, I Can't Come In To Work Today

If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all my guns today.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

The Market is Flooded With Commercial Mortgage Money

I have been in commercial real estate finance for almost 40 years, and I have never seen soooo much money chasing so few commercial loans. Commercial lenders are cutting each other's throats to do deals. Every lender I know, including Blackburne & Sons, has vast hordes of money sitting uninvested.

And here is the eerie part: I don't see this situation changing for a decade. In terms of interest rates, it's a race to the bottom. If a bank makes a 5.0% commercial loan today, that investment by the bank may look like a brilliant one when, five years from now, commercial mortgage rates drop to 4.0%.

That being said, you would be a fool not to refinance your upcoming balloon payment now. First of all, a commercial bank is much more likely to ignore a big black hair, like a vacancy or a maturing lease, right now because the bank is starving for deals.

But there is another issue - the market could instantly change. Let me list the ways. (1) War with North Korea. Do you realize that we could lose? (2) The Big Earthquake in California finally hits. It's almost 20 years past due. (3) One of these big hurricanes could strike and knock out much of South Carolina, where your property is located. I guarantee you that the banks in flooded Houston are not making a lot of new commercial real estate loans right now.

So as to your upcoming balloon payment, git 'er done! If your deal is bankable, you should enter it into C-Loans.com.

Bills Joke

I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400. I said, "I'd like large bills, please." She looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We allow sellers to carry back a second mortgage behind our first mortgage.
   
   
3. We will actually lend up to a 75% loan-to-value ratio. Banks claim they will lend up to 75% LTV, but in real life they will only go 68% LTV.
   
   
4. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2- to 3-year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
5. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with agency loans.
   
   
6. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
7. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Old West Joke

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Free Copy of the Blackburne List

The Blackburne List is a list of over 2,500 commercial lenders located nationwide. We just spent almost $30,000 and three months updating this list.

The Blackburne List is available for purchase for just $79.95. Is money tight? You can also buy one of our three Regional Lists (750+ lenders) for just $39.95. But why spend money at all?

We will trade you one of our three Regional Lists for the contact information of just one banker making commercial real estate loans. If you refer us three bankers, you will own the list for all three regions. Together you will own the entire Blackburne List.

There is another way that you can access The Blackburne List. Our newest portal, CommercialMortgage.com, is an online way to search the entire Blackburne List for the 30 lenders most suitable to make your loan. Use of CommercialMortgage.com is also 100% free!

A Mystery For You Mystery Fans

Football Joke

Upon hearing football star, Joe Jacobi, of the 'Skin's say, "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Truancy Joke

The local high school has a policy that the parents must call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Alice decided to skip school and go to the mall with her friends. So she waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself. "Hi, I'm calling to report that Alice is unable to make it to school today because she is ill." Secretary at high school answered, "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling please?" "This is my mother."

Do You Need a Commercial Loan Right Now?

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

Clever Ways of Saying He's a Dummy

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Then He Changed Her Name to Sunflower

Tough Joke

"I won't say our school was tough, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like, 'What I'm going to be if I grow up.'" -- Lenny Bruce

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans - We Once Paid $21,250.

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Video - Funny Introduction of Al Pachino

Robin Williams at this best.

On a Personal Note

The movie remake of Stephen King's classic novel IT is now out in theaters.  I am so excited to see this movie because the original gave me nightmares as a kid.  I think it is responsible for giving half of America a fear of clowns!  Last week I rewatched the original for the first time in over a decade, and it is a must see if you are into scary movies.  That being said, the trailers for the remake look significantly more terrifying.  My heart is beating just thinking about It!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

Two golfing friends were about to tee off when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball. "Don't you have at least one other ball?" he asked. "Nope, I only need one ball." "Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?" "This is a very special golf ball. You can't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"What do you mean you can't lose it! What happens if you slice your shot and the ball goes in the lake?" "That's okay, this special golf ball senses when it's under water and it puts out a steam of bubbles. I'll be able to retrieve it. You can't lose this ball." "Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?" "No problem. You see, this ball can detect the long grass, and it sends up puffs of fluorescent smoke. I'll be able to see it easily. You can't lose this ball."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs? What are you going to do then?" "That's okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it makes a beeping sound. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?" "I found it."

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677