You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about how to buy commercial property by blanketing others. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny collection of trending videos.

Joke Du Jour

One Sunday morning, Steve burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.

After dinner, Steve's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, Steve. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot." "Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." Steve was brokenhearted.

After eight months, he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, Steve. "I'm awfully sorry about this."

Steve was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Hee hee," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."

Let the Joust Begin

Please insert Grow Up Pic here

Private Money Commercial Permanent Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Do you need a purchase money lender who will actually go to 75% loan-to-value? Blackburne & Sons has decided to compete against banks by being far more aggressive on loan-to-value ratio. We are very bullish on commercial real estate.

Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national?

Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other invest-ments, etc.? Do you need a loan against a portfolio of single family homes?

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Winnie the Pooh Joke

Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!

Buy Commercial Real Estate By Blanketing Another Property

One of my loan officers brought me a deal this week in which a land owner wanted to buy a piece of land next door to his company's building. He had no cash to put down, but he owned his current building free and clear.

I replied, "Absolutely! Just blanket both properties. Easy-peasey." Be sure to remember this trick. The additional collateral could have been a commercial budiling, a house, or even land.

Trash Joke

"According to a new report, by 2050, the world's oceans will contain more plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember: There's plenty of trash in the sea." -- Seth Meyers

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We allow sellers to carry back a second mortgage behind our first mortgage.
   
   
3. We will actually lend up to a 75% loan-to-value ratio. Banks claim they will lend up to 75% LTV, but in real life they will only go 68% LTV.
   
   
4. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
5. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
6. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
7. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Break-In Joke

"In Virginia someone broke into a man's apartment, cleaned it, and took nothing. Completely cleaned the place. Police are describing the suspect as his mother." -- Conan O'Brien

Free Copy of the Blackburne List

The Blackburne List is a list of over 2,500 commercial lenders located nationwide. We just spent almost $30,000 and three months updating this list.

The Blackburne List is available for purchase for just $79.95. Is money tight? You can also buy one of our three Regional Lists (750+ lenders) for just $39.95. But why spend money at all?

We will trade you one of our three Regional Lists for the contact information of just one banker making commercial real estate loans. If you refer us three bankers, you will own the list for all three regions. Together you will own the entire Blackburne List.

There is another way that you can access The Blackburne List. Our newest portal, CommercialMortgage.com, is an online way to search the entire Blackburne List for the 30 lenders most suitable to make your loan. Use of CommercialMortgage.com is also 100% free!

I Can Stop Anytime I Want

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Medical Test Joke

"At the company where I work, employees are required to take an annual skin test for tuberculosis. I had just gone for mine and was explaining the requirement to a young hiree. Then I started teasing him, complaining that the test was painful and pointing to the mark on my arm.

The young man was trying to figure out whether I was joking when the nurse walked in to escort him to the testing room. As they made their way down the hall, I heard her shout, "Dead man walking!”

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Rental Car Joke

A couple of rednecks went on vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car to sight see. One of the sights was a bridge that was more than 1,000 feet above the river. Walking out onto the bridge, they noticed it swaying in the wind. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," one said to the other. "What are you worried about"? the second replied. "It's a rental."

Do You Need a Commercial Loan Right Now?

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

Signs Joke

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be Back in 5 Minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive Carefully. We'll Wait."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Happiness is All About Attitude

Please insert Camel Pic here

Anesthesia Joke

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital, where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans - We Once Paid $21,250.

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Video - Trending Videos of November 2016

Caution: Some of these are pretty gross - funny but gross.

On a Personal Note

This past Sunday, my girlfriend and I took advantage of the nice weather and our free time by volunteering at the Indianapolis Humane Society. We walked dogs, played with cats, and ultimately decided to commit to volunteering regularly. Hopefully, after a few more sessions, I will have built up the courage to walk some of the most troubled dogs, which predominately are pit-bull mixes. And while it is hard to establish a relationship with these animals, knowing most of them will be euthanized, it is gratifying knowing I had a small, yet relevant, part in their happiness.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated. "Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church." The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?" The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?" "He is a veterinarian," she answered. "That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?" The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677