You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about the financing of commercial properties sitting on ground leases. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a video of a small-town restaurant where all of the pretty waitresses carry guns.

Joke Du Jour

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags.”

Recently Slain 1,800-Pound Grizzly Bear in Alaska Had the Remains of Two Different Campers Inside

Private Money Commercial Permanent Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Do you need a purchase money lender who will actually go to 75% loan-to-value? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.?

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Bill of Rights Joke

Two lawyers, Bob and Bill, were having a heated exchange during a trial. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench. "Your Honor," said Bob, "I objected because my distinguished colleague Bill was badgering the witness. It is obvious he has never heard of the Bill of Rights." "Rubbish!" snapped Bill. "I happen to know them by heart." Bob rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Do you now? Well, Bill, I have a hundred dollars that says you can't even tell me the first few words." Bill smirked and accepted the challenge and began, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." "Damn," Bob interrupted, fishing the money from his pocket, "I didn't think you'd know it."

Land Lease Loans

There are many commercial buildings that sit on leased land. The seller refused to part with the land, but he was willing to lease out the land for 49 to 99 years. Even though the owner of the commercial building doesn't own the underlying land, it is still possible to finance such property. I wrote this week an extensive article about how to finance commercial property on leased ground.

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We allow sellers to carry back a second mortgage behind our first mortgage.
   
   
3. We will actually lend up to a 75% loan-to-value ratio. Banks claim they will lend up to 75% LTV, but in real life they will only go 68% LTV.
   
   
4. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with a full 30-35% down to satisfy the bank.
   
   
5. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
6. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
7. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
8. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Memorial Plaque Joke

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex." "Good morning, Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?" The pastor replied, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service." Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:00 or the 9:30?"

Free Copy of the Blackburne List

The Blackburne List is a list of over 2,500 commercial lenders located nationwide. We just spent almost $30,000 and three months updating this list.

The Blackburne List is available for purchase for just $79.95. Is money tight? You can also buy one of our three Regional Lists (750+ lenders) for just $39.95. But why spend money at all?

We will trade you one of our three Regional Lists for the contact information of just one banker making commercial real estate loans. If you refer us three bankers, you will own the list for all three regions. Together you will own the entire Blackburne List.

There is another way that you can access The Blackburne List. Our newest portal, CommercialMortgage.com, is an online way to search the entire Blackburne List for the 30 lenders most suitable to make your loan. Use of CommercialMortgage.com is also 100% free!

I Need a Funny Headline Here

Optimism Joke

Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking tartar sauce with you.

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Bee Joke

Q: What do you call a bee born in between April 30 and June 1?
A: A maybe.

Do You Need a Commercial Loan Right Now?

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

Sunday School Picnic Joke

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic." her mother said. "It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain."

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

You'll Never Take Me Alive, Copper

Bad Day Joke

There was this guy at a bar, obviously glum and just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I get to work late. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring 35% to 40% down payment on the purchase of many commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 35% to 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Swearing Joke (PG-13)

There are two brothers, aged four and six. The six-year-old says "You know, it's about time we started to swear." The four-year-old says "Okay." The six-year-old says "From now on I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass.'" The four year old says "Okay" So they go downstairs and their mother asks, "What would you boys like for breakfast?" The six-year-old says "Oh, what the hell, I'll have corn flakes." WHACK! The kid goes flying across the room. The mother turns to the four-year-old and asks "And what would you like for breakfast?" The four-year-old says "I don't know, but you can bet your ass it's not corn flakes."

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans - We Once Paid $21,250.

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Video - Don't Mess With Your Waitress

In this small-town restaurant, all of the pretty waitresses carry guns.

On a Personal Note

About 6 months ago, I bought my first house. It was a bit of a fixer-upper when I acquired it, and now is almost completely rehabbed. There isn't a part of this house I haven't had to fix, other than the roof (luckily!). I am most proud of the deck in the back I built from the ground up. This was my first deck and really the first structure I've ever built from scratch. Of course I had help with the design from my experienced father-in-law Nick, but I am proud to say every screw and every cut was done by my hand. Maybe, just maybe, I will get the nod of approval from Nick... so long as he doesn't notice it's slightly crooked by just a few degrees!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

AN IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON

While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub, only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's. He didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager. He didn't. I drank it. I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson's. Nope! In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast - Ireland 's finest whiskey. He wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it? By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so plastered that I could hardly push his stroller back home.

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677