You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll share with you a way to get a larger commercial loan by cross-collateralizing additional property. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and the most watched YouTube video of 2016.

Joke Du Jour

A white-haired old man walked into a jewelry store on a Friday, with a beautiful young lady at his side. "I'm looking for a special ring for my girlfriend," he said. Our jeweler looked through our stock and took out an outstanding ring priced at $5,000. "I don't think you understand. I want something very unique," the man said. At that, our now very excited jeweler went and fetched our special stock from the safe. "Here's one stunning ring at $40,000." The girls eyes sparkled, and the man said that he would take it. How are you paying?" asked our jeweler. “I'll pay by check; but of course the bank will want to make sure that everything is in order, so I'll write a check and you can phone the bank tomorrow, and then I'll fetch the ring on Monday," replied the old man. Monday morning, our very disappointed jeweler phoned the man. "You lied, there's no money in that account." "I know - sorry - but can you imagine what a FANTASTIC weekend I had?!"

Introducing CommercialMortgage.com

C-Loans, Inc. recently introduced a brand new commercial mortgage portal, CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC"), to compete against our flagship portal, C-Loans.com.

You are going to love CommercialMortgage.com because it is much easier to use than C-Loans.com to find lenders. CMDC is also much easier to use on your cellphone. It works just like an app.

Even if you don't need a commercial loan right now, please come and take a two-munute test drive of CommercialMortgage.com. Imaginary lender searches are very welcome. Please be sure to bookmark the site too. CMDC is a pretty cool domain name, huh? We paid $100,000 just for the URL, CommercialMortgage.com.

Here Kitty-Kitty-Kitty-Kitty

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with a full 30-35% down to satisfy the bank.
   
   
3. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
4. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
5. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
6. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Actual School Papers #1

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and the climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Do you need a purchase money lender who will actually go to 75% loan-to-value? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.?

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Actual School Papers #2

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Cross-Collateralizing Commercial Loans

Let's suppose your borrower has a balloon payment coming due on his office building, and he absolutely must have an 80% loan-to-value new loan in order to retire his old loan. Nobody but an SBA lender is going to make an 80% LTV loan on an office building, and unfortunately this property is not owner-used. "Quick, Hotshot, what do you do?" said the mad bomber, Dennis Hopper, to Keanu Reeves in Speed.

The answer is to pledge additional collateral - either a rental property or the borrower's own home. But what happens if the additional collateral is a rental house in a different state? To make matters even dicier, what if the office building is located in California, which is a trust deed state, and the rental house is located in Florida, which is a mortgage state? Can this be done? The answer is yes!

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan (Blackburne & Sons would definitely make this loan to the CPA), simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

Freaky Confusing

Actual School Papers #3

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. (Ouch, that's gotta hurt.)

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Birds Joke

Q: What kind of birds stick together?
A: Vel-crows

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring 35% to 40% down payment on the purchase of many commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 35% to 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Actual School Papers #4

Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made King. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus?"

Newest Member of the Avengers

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Rich Cats Joke

Q: What do rich cats have in their refrigerators?
A: Automatic mice makers.

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Lawyer Joke

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for the express degree you told me about?" "It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon. Why do you want to become a lawyer?" "That's my business! Get me the course!" Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to get a law degree so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last breath, the old man said, "One less lawyer ..."

Video - Most Popular Video on YouTube in 2016

James Corden's carpool karaoke with Adele - truly delightful

On a Personal Note

Every family has their holiday traditions. Some families take a trip together, others like to eat and bake cookies and make gingerbread houses. For my family, Christmas is always about one thing: The Christmas Tree. Ever since I was a toddler, we would go to the same tree farm, pick out a tree, and cut that sucker down by handsaw - the best part! Every year without fail. And given our ample tree cutting/transporting experience, I am proud to say over the years we've only lost 1 Christmas tree on the highway!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

Then the FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

Then the LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten raccoon. The raccoon is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677