You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about the CV and why it is so important in commercial construction financing. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and an amazing Saturday Night Live skit with Arianna Grande doing seven female vocal impersonations. You will be wowed.

Joke Du Jour - OMGoodness, So Funny!

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous military person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where the hell I am now…

Introducing CommercialMortgage.com

C-Loans, Inc. recently introduced a brand new commercial mortgage portal, CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC"), to compete against our flagship portal, C-Loans.com.

You are going to love CommercialMortgage.com because it is much easier to use than C-Loans.com to find lenders. CMDC is also much easier to use on your cellphone. It works just like an app. Last night our chief programmer informed me that CMDC has received over 1,100 applications during the three weeks since its launch. Clearly our users are digging the site.

Even if you don't need a commercial loan right now, please come and take a two-minute test drive of CommercialMortgage.com. Imaginary lender searches are very welcome. Please be sure to bookmark the site too. CMDC is a pretty cool domain name, huh? We paid $100,000 just for the URL, CommercialMortgage.com.

What Is It About Boxes?

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with a full 30-35% down to satisfy the bank.
   
   
3. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
4. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
5. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
6. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Sausages Joke

Patient: "Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages."
Psychiatrist: "Nonsense! I like sausages too."
Patient: "Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them."

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.?

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Big Drop Joke

"A tech blogger in California used a weather balloon to drop an iPhone from the edge of space, at 100,000 feet in the air, to see what would happen — and still, somehow, the phone landed in the guy’s toilet." -- Jimmy Fallon

What is a CV?

CV is short for curriculum vitae, which is Latin for "course of one's life." Google defines it as, “a short account of one's career and qualifications prepared typically by an applicant for a position.” Gee, George, that just sounds like a fancy way of saying, "resume." That's right.

In commercial real estate construction lending, however, a CV has a special meaning. A CV includes a summary of all the borrower's development experience, construction experience, and commercial property management experience. For example, I recently worked on a large hotel construction loan, and the fact that the developer already owned and managed an existing hotel was a huge plus in the developer's favor.

When I screen large commercial construction loans, I ask brokers and developers three questions:

1. What is the net worth of the developer? Remember, the net worth of the borrower must equal or exceed the loan amount.
   
   
2. How much equity - skin in the game - does the developer have in the deal? Historically the developer needs to contribute at least 20% of the total cost of the project. In the wake of the Great Recession, at a time when lenders are still nervous, 25% to 35% is more often required.
   
   
3. What are the highlights of the developer's CV that would give me confidence in the developer's development, construction, and property management experience in developing a project of this size.
   
   
4. I also inquire as to whether or not the developer has an architect's rendering of the project. Without one, I know that the developer lacks sufficient experience.

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan (Blackburne & Sons would definitely make this loan to the CPA), simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

Muncher of Dragons

Fishing Bait Joke

I went fishing this morning. After a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake, with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the South.

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

WikiLeaks Joke

"Every day, we get another revelation about Clinton from WikiLeaks. Any more, and we’re going to need WikiDepends." -- Stephen Colbert

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring 35% to 40% down payment on the purchase of many commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 35% to 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Cabinet Joke

"Sources say that Trump is already finalizing his cabinet. Rudy Giuliani would be attorney general, Newt Gingrich would be secretary of state, and Chris Christie would be the wall." -- Jimmy Fallon

He's a Rebel, and He Never Does What He Should

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Galaxy Joke

"Samsung announced recently that people who turn in their recalled Galaxy Note 7 phones will be eligible for a free Note 8 next year when it debuts. Said customers, 'I'm not falling for it. I've been burned by Samsung before.'" -- Seth Meyers

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Airborne School Joke

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks long." "What else?" I asked. "The first week they separate the men from the boys," he said. "The second week, they separate the men from the fools." "And the third week?" I asked. "The third week, the fools jump."

This is old man Blackburne (George III): In 1975, I went through Airborne School. On our second jump, my roommate, Steve Bitner, jumped out of the plane too soon after I had jumped. In those days, parachutes were huge, and my canvas took all of the nearby air away from him. His chute failed to open, and he found himself walking on top of my parachute at just 1,800 feet off the ground.

Even though the situation was gravely dangerous - had our chutes become entangled we both would have died - I found myself laughing and yelling, "Hey Bitner, get off my chute!" Steve was able to gather up his chute, waddle to the edge of my chute, toss his chute into the air, and then jump off. Blessedly his chute finally opened, and we both landed safely. Geesch.

Video - Arianna Grande Impersonations

In this SNL skit, about three minutes into the video, Arianna Grande impersonates seven female vocalists and nails it.

On a Personal Note

If you have been keeping up with my last few advertisements, you will recall that I just purchased my first house - a fixer-upper. For the last few weeks, I have been living without a stove/range, dishwasher, washer/dryer, and even without flooring. Living without these basic appliances really makes you appreciate their value, especially basic carpeting. But I was able to successfully finish the upstairs. It sure is nice to be able to walk out of the shower without getting a splinter. Now, I should probably put up some blinds in the bathroom next, before my neighbors get too freaked out!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. A woman, walking out of a nearby pharmacy, was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I have never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My husband's," replied the widow. "What happened to him?" asked the shopper. The widow replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." The shopper inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The widow answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband, when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?" asked the shopper. "Get in line," replied the widow.

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677