You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about the net worth of the buyer compared to the size of the commercial loan that he is seeking. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a hilarious Saturday Night Live spoof of the debates.

Joke Du Jour

A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, "Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!" "Oh?" says the mother, amused. "And how old is Janie?" "Six," replies the boy. "Well," says the father, "what are you going to do for money?" "I get 5 dollars a week allowance," says the son, "and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we'll be okay." "I see," says the father. "But what are you going to do if you have any children?" "Well," says the boy, "so far we've been lucky."

Introducing CommercialMortgage.com

C-Loans, Inc. recently introduced a brand new commercial mortgage portal, CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC"), to compete against our flagship portal, C-Loans.com.

You are going to love CommercialMortgage.com because it is much easier to use than C-Loans.com to find lenders. CMDC is also much easier to use on your cellphone. It works just like an app. Last night our chief programmer informed me that CMDC has received over 1,100 applications during the three weeks since its launch. Clearly our users are digging the site.

Even if you don't need a commercial loan right now, please come and take a two-minute test drive of CommercialMortgage.com. Imaginary lender searches are very welcome. Please be sure to bookmark the site too. CMDC is a pretty cool domain name, huh? We paid $100,000 just for the URL, CommercialMortgage.com.

I'm Not Listening

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with a full 30-35% down to satisfy the bank.
   
   
3. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
4. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
5. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
6. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

Bumper Sticker

Taxation With Representation Isn't So Hot Either

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off?

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Bob Dylan Joke

"Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature today. Dylan was like, 'This is the greatest honor I've ever received.' Or he might have said, 'Misses gravy's on her ivory steed.' It's impossible to tell.” -- Seth Meyers (Confused? Bob Dylan mumbles horribly.)

The Net Worth of Your Commercial-Investment Property Buyer

Let's suppose you are marketing a $7 million shopping center, and you get an offer to purchase it from an investment group lead by a CPA with a net worth of $1.2 million. The plan is for the group to put down $1,750,000 (25%) and to apply to a regional bank for a $5,250,000 new first mortgage. You may have a problem.

The bank is likely to apply certain financial ratios to the loan request. The Net-Worth-to-Loan-Size Ratio is defined as the buyer's net worth divided by the size of the loan request. This ratio should be 1.0 or higher. Those of us in commercial real estate finance often see borrowers with a net worth of just $2.5 million trying to get a $10 million commercial loan. Folks, its never going to happen. The borrower is just not strong enough to borrow that much money.

In our original scenario above, the Managing Member of this investment group is probably not strong enough by himself to satisfy most banks. He'll need to convince his deep-pocket partners to guaranty the loan as well. If they refuse, you may want to recommend to your seller that he not take the property off the market.

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan (Blackburne & Sons would definitely make this loan to the CPA), simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com. Keep in mind that the 3,159 commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com are different than the 750 commercial lenders on C-Loans.

In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.

I Am Buzzing

Stop and Frisk Joke

"The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It's true. The last time I got frisked, the cop was like, 'Have you lost weight?'” -- Jimmy Fallon

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

E. Coli Joke

"A woman in Oregon who was hospitalized for E. Coli after eating Chipotle is suing the company for free Chipotle. It’s all part of Oregon’s Right to Die Law." -- Conan O'Brien

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring 35% to 40% down payment on the purchase of many commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 35% to 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Furniture Joke

A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him. "Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded. "No, sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof either."

He Can Now Check "Petting an Alligator" Off of His Bucket List

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Rotation Joke

"I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito." -- Mitch Hedberg

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Peanut Joke

Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!

Video - SNL Lampoons Clinton and Trump

This is one of the funniest videos I've seen in awhile

On a Personal Note

As of this past Friday, I am officially a first time homeowner. Hooray, right? Well, the hard part starts now. Due to my financing, I have only 2 weeks to get my new fixer-upper in working condition. This means I have to put in a new HVAC, water heater, appliances, etc. in a very short timeframe. Everything was going smoothly until I just realized I have a slight bug problem! Hopefully my girlfriend doesn't have an issue sleeping next to ants and a few spiders. I mean it is Halloween season, right?

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs... you're probably the executioner.

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677