You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we introduce our new mortgage portal, CommercialMortgage.com, a faster and easier portal. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a clever video of Donald Trump and his Mini-Me, Little Donald.

Joke Du Jour

A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the grounds. As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the wind. "So," she said, "now I weigh me down to sweep."

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with a full 30-35% down to satisfy the bank.
   
   
3. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
4. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.
   
   
5. We buy commercial first mortgages (usually at a discount).
   
   
6. But instead of discounting your wonderful commercial first mortgage, consider pledging it as collateral for a smaller loan. This is called a hypothecation. We make loans secured by mortgage notes owned by the borrower.

I Am So Exhausted

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Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow? Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off?

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

R's Joke

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.'' In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at him - and then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''

Introducing CommercialMortgage.com

We have just released CommercialMortgage.com, our brand new, totally free, commercial mortgage portal that will supplement C-Loans.com. Nice name, huh? It better be! I paid $100,000 just for the domain name alone.

CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") contains a searchable databank of 3,159 commercial real estate lenders, about four times more commercial lenders than C-Loans.com. It is also much faster and easier to use. We ask just six quick questions. Bam! You're done.

"I'm confused, George. Won't this just take away deals from C-Loans?"

The drawback of CMDC is that while the site produces a wonderful list of suitable lenders, you cannot submit your loan application directly to the lender. You will have to either call the lender or email him. Lastly, the hungriest commercial lenders join C-Loans.com.

Let me explain. Every day a salesman from C-Loans calls bankers and invites them to join C-Loans. Those that say, "No," are added to CMDC. Since bankers are notoriously sleepy and suspicious of radical new concepts, such as this new-fangled internet, there are far more commercial lenders to be found on CMDC than on C-Loans

Bottom line: Because the sleepier commercial lenders will be found on CMDC, if you really want to close your deal, you would be wise to try C-Loans.com first

If you need a bank-quality commercial mortgage loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com. If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com.

If you need a non-prime, subprime, or slightly-flawed commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

Cat Owners Will Sooo Get This Joke

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Pirate Joke

Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
A: A buck an ear! Aaaarrr!

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Dentist Joke

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: "Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?" Patient: "Why, doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time?" Dentist: "There are tons of people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game."

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Dear Abby Joke

"A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?"

Ain't It the Truth?

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Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Allergy Pills Joke

The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI / DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pill sales that occur on the black market. The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Dear Abby Joke II

"I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his."

Video - Donald Trump and His Mini-Me

Donald and Little Donald at a stump speech.

On a Personal Note

This past Sunday, my girlfriend and I took advantage of the nice weather and our free time by volunteering at the Indianapolis Humane Society. We walked dogs, played with cats, and ultimately decided to commit to volunteering regularly. Hopefully, after a few more sessions, I will have built up the courage to walk some of the most troubled dogs, which predominately are pit-bull mixes. And while it is hard to establish a relationship with these animals, knowing most of them will be euthanized, it is gratifying knowing I had a small, yet relevant, part in their happiness.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind.

The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react, thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

As the plane starts accelerating rapidly, people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot, "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677