You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about primary locations versus secondary locations. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a great boxing video for you.

Joke Du Jour

Jimmy: "Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special."
Mike: "To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird."
Jimmy: "What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?"
Mike: "Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish."
Jimmy: "Now listen, Mike, you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, but you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish."
Mike: "That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?"

Only Blackburne & Sons Can Do This:

Blackburne & Sons has some truly unique and super cool programs:

1. We'll give you a bridge loan on your commercial property for only one point! There is no prepayment penalty.
   
   
2. We are the only lender in the country offering small balance preferred equity. We'll raise as little as $100,000 if your client can't come up with 30-35% down.
   
   
3. We offer private money (loosey-goosey underwriting) commercial loans with a 15 year term. Our competitors offer 2 to 3 year bridge loans. We offer 15-year permanent loans with no prepayment penalty. Never again will you have a balloon payment come due during a recession.
   
   
4. We have a terrific apartment permanent program that can compete with Agency loans.

Funny One For the Ladies

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Need a non-recourse commercial loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Chiropractor Joke

A lawyer was standing in a long line to get tickets for a play. Suddenly, he felt the hands of the man behind him, kneading into his back. He turned and gave the man a stern look, and the kneading stopped. But a few minutes later, he again felt the man's hands on his back. "Excuse me," the lawyer asked, "But why are you touching my back?" "I'm a chiropractor," the man replied, "and sometimes I can't keep myself from practicing my skills." "Get control of yourself," the lawyer shot back. "I'm an attorney, and you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Primary Locations Versus Secondary Locations

A primary location, in terms of commercial real estate finance, is one of the most desirable locations in a gateway city in terms of traffic count, accessibility, safety, and affluence of the neighborhood. In other words, a lot of Lexus's, Mercedes, and BMW's need to be driving by. You will rarely find a life company lending in a city of less than 500,000 residents.

A gateway city is defined as a large, generally safe, metropolitan area, featuring at least one major university and a socially vibrant city center, that is a beehive for commerce, immigration, and job creation. The typical gateway city enjoys a pro football franchise and/or a pro basketball franchise and an MSA containing at least 1,000,000 residents.

A secondary location is defined as a middle-class, less-commercially-active area in a large city or an affluent, vibrant, and desirable area in a smaller city. A secondary location is typically a nicer-than-average location, but it is just not an incredible location. Is there a lot of brass and glass around? If not, you're not in a primary location.

Example: The most affluent and desirable location in Fargo, North Dakota - where all the physicians and attorneys congregate to do business - would be considered a secondary location. Read our full blog article on the subject. While you're there, be sure to sign up for our free training in commercial real estate finance.

If you need a bank-quality commercial loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.

If you need a non-prime or subprime commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to Blackburne & Sons.

Moms Can Be Sooo Protective. Geesch!

Kamikaze Joke

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot? He flew 57 missions!

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Vasectomy Joke

"A doctor in the U.K. yesterday admitted misconduct charges after he accidentally performed a vasectomy on the wrong patient. Apparently, the patient was pretty upset when she woke up." -- Seth Meyers

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Cookies Left Behind Joke

After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked for items left behind. In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with a note saying, "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. A few minutes later, an announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"

"Missed It By This Much" -- Maxwell Smart

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Octopus Joke

Ted Cruz was just featured in Us Weekly’s “25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me” column. And on the list he revealed that he was once bitten by an octopus at the beach and got “terribly ill.” Then the octopus said, “Yeah, it took me a while to recover too.” -- Jimmy Fallon

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Fractions Joke

Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the Eighth.

Video - Greatest Round in the History of Boxing

Marvin Hagler versus Tommy "The Hitman" Hearns - 1985

Despite being drenched in his own blood,
Hagler knocked out Hearns in the third round.

On a Personal Note

A couple weekends ago I went on a hiking/camping trip in Hoosier National Forest. For this trip, we went the “Primitive camping” route, which is always an adventure. This means no cabins, running water or propane stoves. We brought whatever we could cram into our backpacks and roughed it. Between the freezing rain, lack of running water, and our inability to keep the fire lit, there were more than a few memories that I would like to forget. On the flip side, seeing two bald eagles soaring through the air, is one I would like to keep. But, of all the memories, nothing will stick with me like the feeling we shared when we realized our campsite was being surrounded by a pack of hungry coyotes. We could hear them darting in and out of the brush, yelping and signaling each other. Every minute they seemed to get closer and more bold. Luckily, my buddy had brought his VERY large dog with us, and I 100% believe that his growling and snarling is what kept the coyotes at a safe distance away!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. "An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins. "You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket. The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best ground beef.

The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day. The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb. "Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?" Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound.

He wraps it up, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket. The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door.

The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog. "Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher. "He's a stupid dog -- that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key."

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677