You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Don't let your investors get freaked out about today's swoon in the stock market. This letter will tell you some stuff that will definitely perk up your investors. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pics, and a fascinating video for you.

Joke Du Jour

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money, and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed. Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought paving stones???"

Some of These Stick Figure Decals Are Getting Pretty Funny

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Doctor Joke

It was the intermission at the opera when Mrs. Sternberg rose from her seat and called: "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?!" A man in a tuxedo pushed his way towards her. "I'm a doctor" he said. "Oh, doctor," she said, "Have I got just the loveliest daughter for you..."

Why Investors Shouldn't Panic - Some Wonderful Economic Times Are Coming

During the Great Depression of the 1930's, 9,000 banks failed, which sent the money supply into a devastating contraction. Today our banks are making money hand-over-fist, and U.S. banks have over $2.5 trillion in excess reserves at the Fed.

Our Fortune 500 companies are almost universally profitable, and they have over $1 trillion in liquid assets.

The U.S. unemployment rate has fallen to just 5.5%. I can’t help but think that the unemployment rate would be even lower if so many American workers were not so content to live off the dole. Who doesn't know some able people dogging it on Social Security Disability (the new Welfare)?

Most American homeowners have cut hundreds of dollars from their monthly payments by refinancing their homes at much-lower interest rates. Americans are much less leveraged than in 2007, and they seem to have learned the lesson of thrift. This is a lesson that will not soon be forgotten. Think of our parents and grandparents who lived through the Great Depression. They were very careful with money for the rest of their lives. Thrift is a fine trait for a people.

Yes, it's true that our Federal government owes almost $18 trillion, but that debt is denominated in dollars. We could pay off the national debt tomorrow merely by adding some zeroes to the Treasury’s account at the Federal Reserve. “Hey, Joe, please add $18 trillion to the treasury’s account.” Sure, inflation would soar for a year, but the weaker dollar would make our manufacturers far more competitive overseas.

In the meantime, the Federal government is borrowing money at just 1.99% for ten years.

Not only are recession fears overblown, but the better view is that the U.S. economy is about to dominate the world like it did in the 1950's. Want to read more?

Need a commercial loan? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

Wise Advise

Control Joke

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control you have over your wife?" The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Need a non-recourse commercial loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Perfect Shot Joke

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heck is taking so long? Hit the darned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance of hitting her from here."

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Cowboy Joke

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello." "I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

Now You See It, Now...

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Tuba Joke

Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a "tuba glue."

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Bagpipe Joke

Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Cool Video - They Should Make a Movie!

Fascinating tale of a Pan-Am aircraft caught behind enemy lines.

On a Personal Note

This past weekend, my girlfriend (Alex) and I decided to go on a hiking/camping trip in Hoosier National Forest. Alex, having never been camping before in her life, wanted to ‘rough it’. No showers, no toilets, no running water. Me, being an Eagle Scout and therefore an experienced camper, said OK. This was the first mistake of many made over the weekend…

For night one, we did not get to our camp site until about 9pm, forcing me to pitch the tent in total darkness. In the morning, we decided to pack everything up that we just set out the night before so that we can hike 2 miles to a better camp site along the water front. This was mistake #2.

The hike was arduous to say the least. Carrying 60+ lbs on my back for 2 miles was no walk in the park. Plus, we decided to take a “short cut” and traveled off the trail. Mistake #3.

The weekend had several more mistakes that were completely avoidable. And as I reflect on the experience, with a sore butt cheek (from a poison ivy steroid shot) and 2 missing toe nails, I am surprisingly ready to do it all again. But next time, I will remember to always* stay on the trail!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of guns who want off, get the heck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of guns who are getting on, get your behinds in the train, 'cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room, and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are annoyed about the TWO-HOUR delay, please see the 'witch' in the kitchen.”

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677