You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Will some commercial lenders get too busy to process your purchase money commercial mortgage request? It's a legitimate question, and I'll explain why. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pics, and a hilarious video for you.

Joke Du Jour

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay, pal?" the bartender finally asks. "My wife and I got into a fight, and she said she isn't talking to me for a month!" Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?" "Yeah, but today is the last day!"

Men Are Such Tramps

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Gas Men Joke

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

Commercial Lenders Are About To Get Swamped

There is about to be a perfect storm of commercial mortgage loan demand. The regular, annual busy season for commercial lending - sort of like Christmas season for a retailer - begins around September 15th and lasts for the next 60 days.

At the same time, an enormous number of balloon payments from commercial loans originated ten years ago in 2005 are now coming due. The difference is that there were 1,200 banks in the market actively making commercial loans in 2005. Today there are less than half that number. This means that the small number of commercial mortgage lenders active in the marketplace today are going to get extraordinarily busy in about a month and a half.

Need a commercial loan? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

Tough Crowd

Treadmill Joke

My friend hates to exercise, which means the treadmill in her bedroom barely gets used. Nevertheless, she swears by it. "It really works," she told me. "I throw my jeans over it, and they get smaller."

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Need a non-recourse commercial loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Candidates Joke

Ohio Governor John Kasich became the 16th Republican to announce that he is running for president. During his speech he referred to Jesus Christ, which is ironic because so did Americans when they heard another Republican was running for president. -- Jimmy Fallon

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Homemade Joke

A couple was spotted this past weekend walking into the ocean in North Carolina wearing homemade cages to fend off sharks. Said one of the sharks, "Wow, this really does taste homemade!" -- Seth Meyers

Whoa, Stay Away From This Lady!

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Barry Bonds Joke

Barry Bonds never said he didn't use steroids, he just said he thought they were flaxseed oil and arthritis balm. Never send Barry Bonds grocery shopping. "I asked you to pick up milk." "I did!" "No, this is foot powder." -- Jimmy Kimmel

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Errant Ball Joke

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

Funny Video - Ever Spray Your Dog With a Garden Hose? Payback is a Witch.

This dog had a blast dowsing his owner.

On a Personal Note

I recently built my girlfriend a garden box in our front yard. To you, this may not sound like a big deal. But to me, someone that barely knows how to use a shovel, building this garden box was a great and surprising accomplishment. We now have tomatoes, cucumbers, jalapeno, spinach, cilantro, basil, and so much more. The work and design were simplistic, yet laborious, but having access to fresh fruit/vegetables is invaluable. Now, if only we can get our cat to stop the rabbits from stealing our produce... .

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

Whenever I get a package of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&M's are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&M's as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677