You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about how the availability - or the lack of availability - of cheap commercial financing affects commercial real estate values. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pics, and a hilarious video of scary pranks.

Joke Du Jour

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..."

Sometimes You Have To Make a Leap of Faith

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point and no prepayment penalty. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Prize Joke

"In an episode of 'The Price is Right' this week, a contestant in a wheelchair was awarded a treadmill. Well, to be fair, the show isn't called 'The PRIZE is Right.'" -- Seth Meyers

It Matters a Lot Whether a Commercial Property Type is Attractive To Lenders

Suppose you have a choice of buying two different properties, both leased to solid tenants on a long-term basis. Both properties generate the exact same amount of net operating income - $60,000 per year. Property A, however, is a type of commercial property that is favored by most banks and can be financed up to 75% LTV at a fixed rate of just 4.375% interest. Property B is an out-of-favor property type that can only be financed at an adjustable rate of 9.0% up to just 55% LTV.

Whether or not a property qualifies for the cheap bank financing makes a huge difference in its value - even though two properties might generate the exact same amount of net operating income. Because a buyer can use cheap leverage, Property A (apartment building, office building, strip center, or multi-use industrial building) may sell for a whopping $1 million (6.0% cap rate). On the other hand, the buyer of Property B (restaurant, unflagged hotel, gas station) may have to put down 45% of the purchase price and be satisfied with a much higher interest rate. Property B may only sell for $600,000 (10.0% cap rate).

Need a refresher lesson on cap rates?

Need a commercial loan? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

Couldn't Help But "Crack" A Smile

Beautician Joke

The woman said to her beautician as she sat down for her appointment, "When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?" "Maybe," replied beautician, "Does he drink a lot?"

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Need a non-recourse commercial loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Mother's Day Joke

"Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I saw a lot of people were posting old photos of themselves as a kid with their moms. Because what better gift to give your mother than a photo of how she used to look before you completely wore her down." -- Jimmy Fallon

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

IQ Joke

My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!" She shot back defiantly, "20/20!”

Obviously a Community Property State

Sweet Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a fixed rate, 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Selfie Joke

"A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users won't look like they're alone in pictures. Instead you'll just look like a completely normal person who's carrying around a severed human arm." -- Seth Meyers

Two Ways To Earn Referral Fees For Commercial Loans

This one is an absolute no-brainer. You simply put a link to C-Loans.com on your real estate website. We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a guy who was asleep when the lead came in! Here are the details.

You can also referral commercial loans by hand. Here is our referral fee program.

Baby Name Joke

When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"

Hilarious Video of Scary Pranks

Some of these clever pranks are based on scary movies, and I too would have run away like a terrified sissy!

On a Personal Note

I recently started renting a house in Indianapolis from a friend of mine. Between boarding school, college dorms and apartments, I never really lived in a house since becoming an adult. The property had been vacant for almost 2 years and was in desperate need of some TLC. I have practically zero experience working with tools (changing a light bulb is about as handy as I got) and the fact that there was no property management company that I could call only added to my stress. But, the rent was very low and I saw it as an opportunity to learn basic home maintenance, while saving up for my own home. Upon moving in, I quickly realized the property did not need TLC, but rather an extreme makeover! The entire front lawn plumbing had to be ripped out and replaced, the garage door had to be completely replaced, the windows replaced, the HVAC unit replaced, the dishwasher had to be fixed, the refrigerator had to be fixed; I can go on and on. This move has been a huge headache. But that being said, the experience was essentially a crash course in home repair that I desperately needed. I now know infinitely more about home ownership/maintenance than before and it will be immensely helpful when I purchase one of my own.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny

One night at about 3:00 am my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent-like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart raced as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight... a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from the bed to the bathroom.

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677