You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about the huge wave of ballooning commercial mortgages coming due. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pics, and a surprising video for you.

Joke Du Jour

Playing golf with his buddies, Bob had to make a twisting, downhill, 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, "I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?" His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. Too bad for Bob. He missed the putt by ten feet. As his friends gathered around to collect their money, Bob pulled out a dollar bill on which he had written, "I can make this putt." His pals are still trying to collect on the bet... and Bob is too.

Don't Fight It...

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Need a non-recourse commercial loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Pretty Woman Joke

"Whenever I go to a bar, I always go right up to the most beautiful woman in the room and say, 'You've got something hanging out of your nose.' Hey, since I've got no shot at her, I might as well humble her a little for the next guy." -- Michael Hayward

Tsunami of Balloon Payments on Commercial Properties Coming Due

I just returned from the Mortgage Bankers Association ("MBA") Commercial Real Estate Finance ("CREF") Conference held over Superbowl Weekend in San Diego. The big topic of conversation was the fact that a tidal wave of conduit commercial loans are ballooning over the next three years.

Ten years ago - in 2005, 2006, and 2007 - conduits were making ten-year CMBS loans like drunken sailors. Instead of making proper commercial loans, with a 25-year amortization, these party animals made loans where during the first three years of the loan the payments were interest-only! This means that there has been very little principal paydown over the past ten years

And to make matters worse, the conduits originated an enormous volume of these over-leveraged CMBS loans in 2005, 2006, and 2007. Picture a good-sized pig working its way down the neck and the body of a python.

This is where it gets really-really good for you. Forty percent of the conduit loans ballooning over the next three years will NOT qualify to be refinanced because the balloon payment will be too large. These properties will therefore need to be sold.

At the trade show, a division of Bloomberg claimed to have a list of all of the CMBS loans coming due. Some smart commercial broker is going to get ahold of this list for his city and start to solicit these owners for the listing.

Need a commercial loan? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

Diet Joke

"The star of the new show 'Fat Actress,' Kirstie Alley, says that any time she strays from her diet she's going to donate $100 to one of her favorite charities. In a related story, three diseases have been completely eradicated." -- Conan O'Brien

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Down Payment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% down payment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

The World's Most Misunderstood Animal

Last Person Joke

"My father would say things that made no sense at all, like, 'If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.'" -- Louie Anderson

One-Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Honest, Teacher, The Dog...

New Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Michelle Obama Joke

"In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented, and she frequently tells him that he is wrong. As a result, Michelle Obama is now the Republican front-runner for 2016." -- Conan O'Brien

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Robbery Joke

Returning home from work, a green-haired girl was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house, with his dog on a leash, the green-haired girl ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Amazing Special Effects On the Set of Boardwalk Empire (Video)

I was completely fooled

On a Personal Note

When my girlfriend told me she drew inspiration for our Valentine’s Day festivities from the book/movie "Gone Girl", you can imagine my surprise (and fear). She assured that she did not draw comparisons to our relationship with the unhealthy relationship portrayed in the book, I reluctantly decided to partake in her “scavenger hunt”. With clues planted throughout the house and a plethora of riddles to answer, the evening ended up being a lot of fun. And luckily for me, my girlfriend did not disappear and frame me with her murder!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny (Long But Hilarious)

There's going to be an extra scene included in the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming out next year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episodes I and II.

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but he realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No... I am your father!"

Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

Darth Vader: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."

Luke: "NO!"

Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"

Luke: "Threepio?"

Darth Vader: "Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old..."

Luke: "No..."

Darth Vader: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp..."

Luke: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

Luke: "Well, it's not my fault..."

Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go... 'Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: "Shut up..."

Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"

Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon."

Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!"

{Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

Darth Vader: "I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine..."

{Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.}

Darth Vader: "Get a haircut!"

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 Telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 829677