You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about commercial loans to buy foreclosures. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pics, and a particularly hilarious (Steve Martin) video for you.

Joke Du Jour

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities... He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation - "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. "An ambulance just drove by! Looks like the Andersons have company. Matt's riding a new bike! Looks like the Sanders are moving! Jason is on his skate board!" After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are making love." Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're making love?" "Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle."

If a Popsicle Doesn't Work, There is Always ...

Commercial Forclosures Sell At Huge Discounts

I have been in the hard money commercial mortgage business for over 34 years now, and I cannot remember EVER selling a commercial foreclosure at a profit. Blackburne & Sons has lost money on almost every commercial property upon we which we have foreclosed.

Why do commercial foreclosures ("REO's") sell at such large discounts? I believe its because there is a Federal banking regulation that financially punishes commercial banks for keeping REO's on their books for longer than a few months. As a result, commercial banks are always in a huge hurry to sell off their REO's. Because commercial banks are so anxious to get their REO's off the books, they often sell them for a small fraction of their true value.

Unfortunately for lenders, most commercial real estate investors know this. The moment commercial real estate investors learn that a listed commercial property is an REO, they immediately reduce their potential offers by 40%. "After all, everyone knows that the bank has to dump the property for a song in order to quickly get it off the books." The bottom line is that everyone wants a deal when they buy a commercial foreclosure.

At Blackburne & Sons, we understand this. If you are buying a commercial foreclosure from a bank, we often require a smaller downpayment because we know that a certain amount of value is already built into the deal. We'll even lend you some extra dough to fix up the property.

Need a commercial loan? Simply complete this super-easy mini-app.

Stockbrokers Joke

Two stockbrokers went to lunch. The one said to the other, "Let's relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market for once." "Good idea. Let's talk about women." "Okay... common or preferred?"

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Downpayment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's downpayment to create a downpayment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% downpayment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our own first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Okay, I'll Admit It. I'm A Screamer...

Lions Joke

A young missionary on his first trip to Africa is away from camp having devotions in a quiet clearing, as was his custom. This one particular day, while reading his Bible, a lion comes and lays down right beside him; so close that the hot warm smell of his breath is wafting over him. He is, as you would suppose, exceedingly uneasy. He closes his eyes, praying... but when he opens them he sees another approach from the brush, which proceeds to lie down on the other side of him. Convinced as he is that this is a test of his faith, he determines to return to his Bible reading. As soon as he does so, the two lions pounce upon and devour him. Moral of the story: Don't read between the lions.

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Last Man Joke

"I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth, just to see if all of those girls were telling me the truth." -- Ronnie Shakes

One Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin', Keep Them Doggies Rollin'

Theme Song to Rawhide

New Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Blackburne & Sons has an incredible apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Discipline Joke

One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was acting up during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but they were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked up the little fellow and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Clown Joke

Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon. I was under the lights a bit long and the protective shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye. Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, "Man, I look like a clown." I had almost convinced myself that I was overreacting until I got in line at the grocery store. I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me. He asked, "Are you giving out balloons?"

Hilarious Video

This was performed one time only on the Johnny Carson Show in 1990's. It was a good thing they taped it because it was never done again. Steve Martin, as The Great Flydini, and he doesn't say a word.

On a Personal Note

The fall season is a beautiful time of year and when tied in with pumpkin carving, costumes, and haunted houses, Halloween has become my favorite holiday. In the spirit of getting scared, I spent last weekend in Salem, MA - home of the Salem Witch Trials. The experience was interesting and fun, but unfortunately, I did not encounter any friendly ghosts as I had hoped. Maybe next year I will look into overnight tours of haunted former insane asylums or prisons. I can't wait!

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Final Funny (Long But Very, Very Funny)

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup, and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?" The old timer said, "I'm a golfer, and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?" The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?" The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?" The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?" The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married." The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?" The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173