You are receiving this letter because you either wrote to us or you are a commercial real estate broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Today we'll talk about a jaw-dropping, recent report from Bloomberg about the financial health of our largest corporations. It's very, very good. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes and several funny pics for you.

Joke Du Jour

Eight and a half months very pregnant with twins, I was used to getting nervous glances from strangers. But I never realized how imposing I was until my husband and I went out to dinner at a new restaurant. The hostess sat us at our table, took one long look at my stomach and asked, "Would you like me to get you a high chair just in case?"

I Was Crazy In Love With That Irreplaceable Phone...

Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)

Crazy In Love

Irreplaceable

Big U.S. Companies Are Cooking With Gas

Bloomberg News issued a glowing economic report today about the health of American corporations:

"Companies in the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index are the healthiest in decades, with the lowest net debt to earnings ratio in at least 24 years, $3.59 trillion in cash and marketable securities, and record earnings per share. They are headed this year toward the fastest average monthly job creation since 1999, manufacturing is recovering and the U.S. has returned as an engine for global growth."

My dear 'ole dad used to have a saying, "I've been rich, and I've been poor. Rich is better."

Blackburne & Sons makes private money commercial loans, and we will allow the seller to carry back a seconmd mortgage behind us. Please click here to apply for a commercial loan, or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Lost Joke

Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

Buying or Selling a Commercial Property? We'll Help Your Buyer With His Downpayment!

No one else in the entire country does what we do. We add our equity dollars - not debt dollars - to your buyer's downpayment to create a downpayment large enough to satisfy the bank.

The reason you need us is because banks are now requiring a 40% downpayment on the purchase of most commercial-investment properties. To make matters worse, most banks today will not even allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage.

Does your buyer really want to put down 40% of the purchase price? Our small-balance preferred equity solves your problem. Please click here for more information about our preferred equity.

Blackburne & Sons (est. 1980) is a commercial private money lender. We will allow second mortgages behind our first mortgages!

Please click here to apply for preferred equity or a private money commercial mortgage. You can also call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Computer Joke

While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college, a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house. Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, "How big was the mouse?"

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially-vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a private money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Russia Joke

"Today Russia announced that it will join America’s fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, "But I did not say which side." -- Jimmy Fallon

One Point Commercial Bridge Loans

Suppose you have listed a commercial property for sale, and the seller is getting antsy. You can often hold him off long enough to find a buyer by getting him a bridge loan. Blackburne & Sons offers a six-month bridge loan for just one point. Please click here to submit a commercial bridge loan mini-app or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Snakes...Why Did It Have To Be Snakes...

Indiana Jones Theme Song

New Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Because we have been in the commercial mortgage business for over 34 years, and because we own CommercialMortgage.com, Blackburne & Sons has been allowed to join just five other mortgage bankers to offer an incredible new apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. These loans close in our name and are sold to an institutional investor which purchased almost $400 million in apartment loans last year.

The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Darth Vader Joke

Q: Why did Darth Vader tie his spaceship up next to the pier?
A: Because he favors the dockside.

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Arrogant Attorney Gets Put Down - Hilarious!

On a Personal Note

My cousin (a drummer) got married to an amateur country western singer this past weekend in Prospect, Oregon - a town of 650 people. The setting was beautiful, with greenery and mountains everywhere the eye can see. The temperature was perfect and the ceremony flawless. And the best part was hearing the story of how they met. Four years ago, my cousin’s band opened up for The Taryn Cross Band at a small country western concert in Prospect, OR. Before the performance, my cousin took notice of the beautiful Taryn Cross and quickly decided that he had to do something to get her to notice him.

So, at first he went up to her to purchase a ‘Taryn it Up’ T-shirt she was selling. Not knowing he was the drummer of her opening act, of course she charged him full price! My cousin proceeded to converse with her and extended an invitation to a “barn dance” taking place after the performance. To make himself stand out even more, after his band preformed he dragged an old couch and made sure to a get a front row seat. After the performance, she decided that if this guy was crazy enough to drag a couch into her show, then why not meet up with him. It was only then that she found out she was tricked...

There was never really a barn dance, but rather it was a ruse my cousin used to get her number. Taking it all in stride, Taryn was amused at the lengths my cousin was going to meet her and gave him a shot. As they say "the rest is history".

Sometimes love is fostered through mutual friends, blind dates, and Match.com But love can also present itself through opportunity. Props to my cousin, Austin, for recognizing the opportunity life threw his way.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Confessional Joke

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now."

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that Rock'n' Roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony." "Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "but I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!" "Yes," replied the elderly priest, "and I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof."

Contact Information

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101, Sacramento, CA 95841 telephone: (574) 210-6686 * Fax: (916) 338-2328
Real Estate Broker -- California Bureau of Real Estate -- License Number 01330173