COMMERCIAL LENDING NEWSLETTER
You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of whom I am allowed to have 300. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll introduce CommercialMortgage.com, a faster and easier commercial mortgage portal. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video of Donald Trump and his Mini-Me, Little Donald.
Joke Du Jour
A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the grounds. As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the wind. "So," she said, "now I weigh me down to sweep."
I Am So Exhausted
Please insert Pokemon Pic here
Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM
Do you need a lender who will also look at the borrower's global income - income from salaries, other investments, etc.? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? Do you need a commercial loan with no prepayment penalty? Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do all of your commercial leases run out in the next 18 months? Do you need a lender who will allow a negative cash flow?
Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.
And don't forget, we will quickly and happily issue you a written Loan Approval Letter - at no charge - that you can use as a fallback and to lure cheaper lenders. After all, everyone wants to lend to you if you already have a commitment. Here is our latest rate sheet.
Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.'' In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at him - and then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''
We have just released CommercialMortgage.com, our brand new, totally free commercial mortgage portal that will supplement C-Loans.com. Nice name, huh? It better be! I paid $100,000 just for the domain name alone.
CommercialMortgage.com ("CMDC") contains a searchable databank of 3,159 commercial real estate lenders, about four times more than C-Loans.com. It is also much faster and easier to use. We ask just six quick questions. Bam! You're done.
"I'm confused, George. Won't this just take away deals form C-Loans?"
The drawback of CMDC is that while the site produces a wonderful list of suitable lenders, you cannot submit your loan application directly to the lender. You will have to either call the lender or email him.
Lastly, the hungriest commercial lenders join C-Loans.com. Let me explain. Every day a salesman from C-Loans calls bankers and invites them to join C-Loans. Those that say, "No," are added to CMDC. Since bankers are notoriously sleepy and suspicious of radical new concepts, such as this new-fangled internet, there are more commercial lenders to be found on CMDC than on C-Loans. Bottom line: Because the sleepier commercial lenders will be found on CMDC, if you want to close your deal, you would be wise to try C-Loans.com first
If you need a non-prime or subprime commercial mortgage loan right now, simply complete this super-easy mini-app to me here at Blackburne & Sons.
If you need a bank-quality commercial loan right now from a life company, a commercial bank, or a conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com. If you still can't find a commercial lender using C-Loans, then try CommercialMortgage.com.
In any case, you should come visit CommercialMortgage.com right now and take it for a free test drive. You do NOT need a real life commercial loan request.
Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck an ear! Aaaarrr!
Get a Free Directory of 2,000 Commercial Real Estate Lenders
If you introduce us to just one commercial real estate loan officer who works at a bank, we'll let you download The Blackburne List, a list of 2,000 commercial real estate lenders organized by state, for free. Click here to trade one banker for two thousand.
Cat Owners Will Sooo Get This Joke
Please insert Brexit Pic here
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: "Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?" Patient: "Why, doctor, it wasn't all that bad this time?" Dentist: "There are tons of people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game."
Sweet Apartment Loan Program for "A" Deals
Blackburne & Sons has a terrific apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. Our fixed rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.
Dear Abby Joke I
"A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?"
Small Balance Preferred Equity ($100K to $1MM)
If an investor wants to buy a leased commercial property, banks today will seldom lend more 58% to 62% LTV. Your buyer only wants to put down 25% of the purchase price
Quick, easy preferred equity from Blackburne & Sons fills in the missing piece of the capital stack. We'll add our $150,000 in equity dollars to your client's $250,000 down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank. Think of our preferred equity as tiny Joint Venture investments.
For more information, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.
Ain't It the Truth?
Please insert Never Ending Story Pic here
Allergy Pills Joke
The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI / DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pill sales that occur on the black market. The agents will be called "Pseudo Feds."
Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.
Video - Donald Trump and His Mini-Me
Donald and Little Donald at a stump speech.
On a Personal Note
I just got back from a week long vacation with the family. We went on a cruise to the Cayman Islands, Jamaica, and then the Bahamas. The weather was amazing and the time away from work was even better. We got to swim in the ocean, snorkel amongst a plethora of sea animals, and even kiss a wild string ray! But despite the unique experiences, the best part about the vacation was sharing the memories with my parents. Now, there is an argument to be made that spending time with one’s parents is in no way a “vacation”, but I would disagree and here is why: As I have gotten older, the way I view my parents has changed. I no longer think of them solely as a means for guidance (and financial help in desperate times!). I have actively pursued getting to know them not as parents, but rather as individuals, separate from each other. And because of this, the highlight of my vacation was sipping CocoLoco’s with them on the beach of Coco Cay, reminiscing on the wonderful adventures we had just experienced together.
Don't Forget About C-Loans.com
We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react, thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
As the plane starts accelerating rapidly, people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once.
At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot, "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
Get a Free E-Book on CREF
This free e-book contains seven of George's best blog articles on the subject of commercial real estate finance.
BRE# - 01919403
NMLS# - 1014118
BLACKBURNE & SONS REALTY CAPITAL CORPORATION
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
Phone: (574) 210-6686
Fax: (916) 338-2328