COMMERCIAL LENDING NEWSLETTER
You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of whom I am allowed to have 300. Removal instructions are below. Commercial lending is seasonal. Today we will talk about what to expect for the next three months. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video for you.
Joke Du Jour
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out, cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!" Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times, leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get all hissy about it!"
Sid Was the Sloth in the Kid's Movie, Ice Age
"He is the gooey, sticky stuff that holds us together."
-- Diego the Sabretooth
Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $3.5MM
Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? Is your client's company losing money? Is your borrower a foreign national? Do you need a non-recourse loan? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.
Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.
And don't forget, we will quickly and happily issue you a written Loan Approval Letter - at no charge - that you can use as a fallback and to lure cheaper lenders. After all, everyone wants to lend to you if you already have a commitment. Here is our latest rate sheet.
Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.
Marry Me Joke
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said, "Yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying, 'Yes,' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."
A Flurry of Commercial Loans and Then a Drought
Commercial real estate lending is surprisingly cyclical. Historically commercial loan demand is very brisk during March. Loan demand is almost as strong in March as during Busy Season - that period between September 15th and November 15th.
Unfortunately, by April 10th, commercial loan demand is as weak as a kitten. It's really ironic, but historically our private investors are ravenous for new commercial loans to fund. They have just completed their tax returns, and they are ready to put their liquid funds to work. Its frustrating, but we can seldom find any commercial loans in April to feed them. Borrowers are exhausted after providing a huge pile of paperwork to their accountants. They are in no mood in April to satisfy the paperwork appetite of any commercial mortgage lender.
I work with my bank on this seasonality. I make sure that my company has plenty of room on our line of credit to carry us through April and the first week of May.
In addition to loan servicing income (It's the servicing income, silly!) and our line of credit, we have one more advantage at Blackburne & Sons. We are list advertisers. If we need business, we can just send out a couple of more newsletters to our thousands of contacts get more commercial loan business.
If you need a bank-quality commercial loan right now from a life company, commercial bank, or conduit, you should enter your deal into C-Loans.com.
If you need a non-prime or subprime commercial loan, simply complete this super-easy mini-app.
Very Funny, Dad
Penguin Joke
Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
A: Lost.
Sweet Apartment Loan Program for "A" Deals
Blackburne & Sons has a terrific apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. Our fixed rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.
Strength Joke
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young guy replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "Alright. Get in."
Small Balance Preferred Equity ($100K to $1MM)
If an investor wants to buy a leased commercial property, banks today will seldom lend more 58% to 62% LTV. Your buyer only wants to put down 25% of the purchase price
Quick, easy preferred equity from Blackburne & Sons fills in the missing piece of the capital stack. We'll add our $150,000 in equity dollars to your client's $250,000 down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy the bank. Think of our preferred equity as tiny Joint Venture investments.
For more information, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.
Disco Turtle
Costume Joke
It's Halloween, and this woman has nothing to wear. She puts a sheet over her head, sticks horns on it, and goes to work. A co-worker asks her what she is dressed as. She replies, "Bull Sheet."
Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.
Beer Bottle Music Video
These guys are good!
On a Personal Note
As promised, I have an update on the results of the Murder Mystery Birthday Party. When the power went out briefly on the cruise ship Indianapolis, we were all shocked to discover the flashy showgirl had been stabbed to death in the lounge!
After an intense investigation we discovered that I, the flirtatious bartender, was not the killer. So you guys can rest easy, I am not a murderer after all. Unfortunately, it turns out that I am living with a cold-blooded killer. My very own girlfriend was the murderer! She says she would never kill me, but can we really trust a killer?
Our next adventure will be a life long dream of mine. I have always wanted to go camping in Yellowstone national park. Later this summer, I am planning a Yellowstone trip with my family and best friend. We are going to drive to Wyoming, stopping at tourist traps like Mount Rushmore along the way. I have reviewed all the material and luckily we have everything we need. Well, everything except the bear spray. I plan to get a few extra cans of spray, just in case!
Don't Forget About C-Loans.com
We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!
Final Funny - Long But Funny
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" "Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."
"Three?"
"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student, let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"Oh no," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?" The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"Well it....no, not really..." "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?" The man was defeated and ashamed.
This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.
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Contact Information
Tom Blackburne
BRE# - 01919403
NMLS# - 1014118
BLACKBURNE & SONS REALTY CAPITAL CORPORATION
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
Phone: (574) 210-6686
Fax: (916) 338-2328
Email: tommy@blackburne.com
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