You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of whom I am allowed to have 300. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about why commercial loans that cash flow very well can be among the worst possible deals. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes, several funny pics, and an interesting video for you.

Joke Du Jour

Deep within the forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, the brave little turtle slowly climbed up the tree again, jumped, and once again fell to the ground. The valiant little turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a nearby branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's finally time to tell him he was adopted.”

Having a Tough Month?

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $2.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? We make slightly scratched-and-dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Potato Joke

"There was a man in Rhode Island that was arrested after he tried to rob a bank using a potato shaped like a gun. I'm glad he didn't try that here in L.A. People would have freaked out. "Oh, no, carbs! Back off, everybody! He's packing carbs! " -- Craig Ferguson

Be Wary of Commercial Loans That Cash Flow Too Well

Leased commercial and multifamily properties in the ghetto often cash flow very well; but far fewer investors want to own such buildings. The area can be dangerous, and gangs, vandals, and copper thieves often abound. Therefore such properties usually only sell at very high cap rates.

The good news is that the bank's new loan will cash flow very well. The bad news is that you might get assaulted or killed while trying to do the site inspection. This blog article explains the mathematics of what I'm talking about.

Botox Joke

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited — I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces." -- Jimmy Fallon

Preferred Equity

If an investor wants to buy a leased commercial property, banks today will seldom lend more 58% to 62% LTV. Your buyer only wants to put down 25% of the purchase price

Quick, easy preferred equity from Blackburne & Sons fills in the missing piece of the capital stack. For more information, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

IRS Audit Joke

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by an IRS agent about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year. "Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog. Everyone in my family helps out. The place is only closed three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?" "It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife." "Oh, that," the owner said smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver.”

Parents Shouldn't Text

New Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Because we have been in the commercial mortgage business for over 33 years, and because we own CommercialMortgage.com, Blackburne & Sons has been allowed to join just five other mortgage bankers to offer an incredible new apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. These loans close in our name and are sold to an institutional investor which purchased almost $400 million in apartment loans last year.

The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Password Joke

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem. "The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password." "Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Video of Animals Being Saved By Humans

This is a heart-warming video.

On a Personal Note

My daughter is now 3yrs old and she continues to impress me with how much information she processes. Typically, while I'm reading to her or using flash cards, she is rolling on the floor and giggling - seemingly disinterested and unattentive. But in actuality, she is hearing and comprehending just about everything I am teaching her and I know this because she passes every test I give her. She has also caught on to my new approach to discipline. She has officially started her 'terrible two's' at age 3 1/2 (really should be called terrible 3's), forcing me to become stricter. Now, at the initial signs of an outburst, I present her with a very simple and specific option; You can either continue the bad behavior and have to deal with the consequences OR you can change your behavior and not. She has taken very well to this. Last night, she and I went out to dinner. I chose not to touch my asparagus that sided my steak (nobody actually likes asparagus, do they?) and Reagan noticed. Her response: "Daddy, if you do not eat your asparagus, you will have to go to time out and go to bed early!" I could not come up with a reasonable response she'd understand....so I ate the asparagus! Outwitted by a 3 year old...

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Homework Joke

Beth Vorhees, of public TV fame, said her daughter, Diana, a third-grader, was to give a demonstration speech at school. She planned to demonstrate how to make "Flies on a Log," which consists of peanut butter spread on a stalk of celery with raisins on it.

The morning of her speech, Diana took out everything she needed and put it on the kitchen counter, ready to take it to school. Unfortunately, when the girl and her mother left for school, they forgot to take the items. Diana's mother dropped her off and went home to get the stuff. The celery was gone. The raisins were gone. The peanut butter had been put away. "Oh," said Diana's father. "I had that stuff for breakfast."

Diana's faithful mother rushed to gather up more ingredients and rush them to school with an apology to the teacher and an explanation of what happened. "Gee," said Diana's teacher, "that's a first - My dad ate my homework."

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