You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of which I am allowed 300. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about financing low-cap-rate commercial properties, such as office condo's and small apartment buildings. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes, several funny pics, and an interesting video for you.

Joke Du Jour

A husband and wife had a horrible argument. The wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again. I am coming to live with you." The mother-in-law replied, "No darling, he has to really pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”

Curiosity Killed The...Human?

Private Money Commercial Loans Nationwide From $100,000 to $2.5MM

Is your client's commercial property partially vacant? Do you need a lender who will allow the seller to carry back a second mortgage? Does your client have a balloon payment coming due on his commercial property? Has your bank offered him a discounted pay-off? Does your borrower have less-than-stellar credit? We make slightly scratched and dented commercial loans.

Our hot, new product is a blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. Rental homes? Yup, as long as there are at least five homes or units, we consider this to be a commercial loan. We even offer a partial release clause. This loan is ideal for speculators.

Here is our latest rate sheet.

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Tom Blackburne, at (574) 210-6686.

Census Taker Joke

Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor, and he wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy. "My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?" "Sure!" the little girl replied, "Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"

Low-Cap-Rate Commercial Properties Don't Cash Flow Very Well

Really desirable income properties, like small apartment buildings in good areas of big cities, sell at ridiculously low cap rates. The problem this creates is that they will often only carry a new first mortgage of around 45% of the sky-high purchase price. Any new buyer might have to put 55% down! Our new preferred equity "loan" solves this problem.

Oops Joke

Astronomers were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently that sound was "Uh-oh.”

New Apartment Program for "A" Deals

Because we have been in the commercial mortgage business for over 33 years, and because we own CommercialMortgage.com, Blackburne & Sons has been allowed to join just five other mortgage bankers to offer an incredible new apartment loan program for "A" quality deals. These loans close in our name and are sold to an institutional investor which purchased almost $400 million in apartment loans last year.

The rate is adjusted according to the desirability of the property and the area, but it starts at 3.87% and 1 point for a 30-year fully-amortized loan. For more details, please call Tom Blackburne at (574) 210-6686.

Avocado Joke

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk. If they have avocados, get 6." A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had avocados."

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

Video of Cats Stealing the Dog's Bed

I was rolling on the ground laughing after watching this video about family cats stealing the beds of the family dogs.

On a Personal Note

Every other Saturday I volunteer at the Indianapolis Zoo.  On occasion, I get sent home early because they run out of work for me to do in my particular section of the zoo.  

Last weekend, I was sent home early again...but I wondered why I couldn't go to a different section of the zoo and see if they needed help.  The other volunteers said I was supposed to stay in designated section, but couldn't give me any legitimate reasons as to why.  

Feeling somewhat bold, I decided I would just go to a different section and wing it.  What's the worst that could happen?  I volunteer so its not like I can get fired!

I 'got lost' and wound up in the Oceans exhibit.  I walked right in and told them I was a volunteer and was instructed to help out wherever they needed me.  The trainers threw me right in and I just went with it.  Pretty soon, I found myself elbow deep in fish guts preparing shark food. I will probably never look at sushi the same way again... Then I was rushed over to the penguin enclosure to watch a baby penguin's first few hours of life, and i must say they are even cuter in person. To cap off the day, I was sent to hand feed the stingrays. All in all it was a very interesting day and the best part of all was that no one peed on me!

If You're Gonna Do the Crime ...

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Crimea Joke

"The standoff in Ukraine keeps getting worse. But a new poll shows Vladimir Putin's approval rating has actually gone up 10 percent since he sent troops into Crimea. When he heard that, Obama just shrugged and sent troops to invade Canada." -- Jimmy Fallon

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