You are receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we're going to show you why ugly commercial properties in horrible areas cash flow better than gorgeous properties in prime areas. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes, two funny pics, and a hilarious video for you.

Joke Du Jour

A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place. I am always going around the house organizing things." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married, I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."

I'm a Believer. Are You?

George, please insert the Batman picture here.

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Dental Insurance Joke

"It turns out that a lot of children could lose their dental insurance under Obamacare. So kids might not be able to go to the dentist. Parents were really upset, while the kids said, 'Four more years! Four more years!'" -- Jimmy Fallon

Why Yucky Properties Cash Flow Better

Real estate investors buy commercial properties because such properties generate cash flow (net rental income). You will recall that we said that a Cap Rate is simply the return on your purchase price that you would earn if you bought an income property for all cash.

For example, if you paid $1 million in cash for an average office building in an average area and enjoyed $80,000 per year in net rental income from the investment, you have bought the property at an 8% cap rate. one.

More. (Be sure to sign up for the old man's free training articles, right below his picture.)

Ketchup Joke

"Heinz ketchup announced that it will cut more than 1,300 jobs over the next eight months. They say they just don't have a lot of money left in their budget. Then people said, 'Have you tried turning it upside down and letting it sit for a few minutes?'" -- Jimmy Fallon

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Fun Video

The highlight of the traditional circus acts is Die Maiers, a German duo of clowns. The duo’s Sabine Maier, dressed in a fussy maid’s outfit with an inextricable small purse, does one of the best deadpan acts since Buster Keaton, and she’s joined by her geeky-looking husband Joachim Mohr to perform the funniest and most surprising trapeze act within memory. 

On a Personal Note

Halloween is a strange holiday.  As I understand it, the day originates from a Celtic celebration of honoring the gods and to convert pagens.  The reasons for dressing up served to disguise the mortal from the actual evil spirits supposedly on the hunt for souls to take.  Conversley, the concept of Trick or Treating represents how these evil spirits would disguise themselves as humans and would visit Celtic homes in hopes of claiming new souls.  

I say this is a strange holiday because had I known as a child what I know now, perhaps I would not have participated year after year.  But that being said, to children it is not about the dressing up or the haunted houses or the jack o' lanterns; It is all about the CANDY!

So, my daughter will be dressing up as a pumpkin and will go trick or treating.  As good parents, we cannot let her eat more than a few pieces of candy ... which leaves a whole lot left for me!

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies ...

George IV, please insert sweat pants picture here.

Fleetwood Mac singing, Little Lies.

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Logic Joke - Men Versus Women

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00, which includes a tip.
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
Woman: So a beer costs $5, and you have 3 beers a day, which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400… correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in one year you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account, and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

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