COMMERCIAL LENDING NEWSLETTER
You are receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about foreclosures contaminated by meth ... and your personal legal liability. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes and two funny pictures for you.
Joke Du Jour
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, "Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path, and my faithful native gun bearer was behind me. Suddenly the largest tiger I have ever seen leaped onto the path in front of us. I turned to get my weapon, only to find the native had fled. The tiger leaped toward me with a mighty ROARRRR! I just soiled myself." The reporter said, "Under those circumstances, anyone would have done the same." The old explorer said, "No, not back then - just now when I went 'ROARRRR!'"
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Could You Be Sued For Brokering the Loan on an REO Purchase?
My wife and I are absolutely hooked on the TV series, Breaking Bad, where a chemistry teacher, dying of cancer, sets out to become a meth dealer in order to leave his wife and children enough cash to survive after his death. Eventually the chemistry teacher makes so much money that he stops counting it. He has to weigh it!
As either a mortgage broker or a real estate broker, you have what the law calls additional "education, experience, and training" in real estate. You knew - or should have known - that a huge percentage of all residential foreclosures are former meth labs, with dangerous levels of contamination. Are you telling your buyers to get meth lab testing done before they buy the REO? Could you prove it? More.
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On a Personal Note
On St. Patrick’s Day, my husband and I and our two friends went out to the local Irish Pub to celebrate the Irish holiday. The name of the pub is “The Blarney Stone”. This was named after an actual landmark in Cork, Ireland. The Blarney Stone is a block of bluestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, Blarney, about 8 kilometers from Cork, Ireland. The stone is fixed in the castle of Blarney, and is a popular destination for many tourists who wish to kiss it. This action will reputedly bestow the kisser with the gift of a glib and eloquent tongue– the “gift of gab” as the locals call it. The origin of the use of the word ‘blarney’ however, as it is now used to refer to the ability to coax and beguile a listener with fancy words and persuasion, is directly tied to the castle of Blarney itself. See the picture below.
Price Reduction Joke
Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, " the price will be only $5.50." From the back of the congregation, a woman's voice rang out, "Do you really think I'd give you that information for only 50 cents?"
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Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions...lots of questions. One day my wife finally had it. "Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my exasperated wife asked. "No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive. And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, and died!" Wide-eyed, Terra whispered, "What was in the hole?"
Are You Tired of Faking It?
Maybe its time to finally learn commercial mortgage finance?
Final Funny (A Little Long But Way Cute)
One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner - Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" asked Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"
As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!" "You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, middle daughter?" "I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"
Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make." "Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation. "Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!" "Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, youngest daughter?"
"I'm marrying Dan Rather!" "DAN RATHER?" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"
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Sacramento, CA 95841
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