You are receiving this letter because you are a client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we'll talk about what to do when your phones start ringing off the hook. And, of course, like always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes (the hit man joke is hilarious) and two fun videos for you.

Joke Du Jour

My wife walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform. "I'm assuming this is a costume," said my wife. "But what are you supposed to be?" The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

Commercial Loans From $100,000 to $1.5MM

Blackburne & Sons is looking for commercial real estate loans that are not quite clean enough for a bank. Please click here to submit a hard money commercial loan or call me, Alicia Gandy, at 916-338-3232.

Lutheran Joke

This dad tells the story: My six-year-old son was excited about his Halloween costume. "I'm going to be the Pope," he said. "Ian, you can't be the Pope," I said. "You're not Catholic. You're Lutheran." Ian hadn't thought about that. So he considered his alternatives. After a few minutes, he asked, "Is Dracula a Lutheran?"

Every Once in a While a Mortgage Broker's Phone Rings Off the Hook

After reading this article, you should subscribe to our blog.

It happens to all of us. For weeks your phones will be slow or almost dead, and then - BAM - your phones will light up like a Christmas tree. What do you do? Do you stop answering the phone? Do you neglect your deals already in process? Continue.

Firefighter Joke

As firefighters, we are required to wear our full bunker gear on all safety calls, even to advise homeowners of a county ordinance against burning leaves after dark. Last Halloween, two co-workers waited on the porch of one such offending household, helmets in hand, until a woman finally opened the door. Promptly dropping a candy bar into each helmet, she remarked, “You boys are a little old for this sort of thing, aren’t you?” and closed the door.

Too Busy to Broker Commercial Loans to Us? Why Not Just Refer Them Instead? We Make It Easy!

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee. Here is our referral fee program.

On a Personal Note

With all of the devastation that has happened in the East Coast from Hurricane Sandy, it really makes you hold your loved ones tighter and feel very grateful for what you have. I can't even imagine what everyone is going through with losing their homes, cars, loved ones and everything else they might be going through. I hope some help and relief will be getting to all of them very soon and that they can rebuild quickly. Tell your family and friends that you love them everyday!

Halloween Cat Suit Joke

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won't come when I call him.

Don't Forget About C-Loans.com

We have a whole new crop of hungry commercial lenders on C-Loans, so if you have a commercial loan you're trying to place, it takes just four minutes to submit your deal to 750 commercial lenders. And remember, C-Loans.com is free!

Obama Dances Gangnam Style

You have to admit that President Obama has a good sense of humor and that he's a pretty good dancer.

Hit Man Joke

This joke is long but very funny: Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure that went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying a single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the headlines declared: "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY"

Scary Snowman Video

Imagine walking along some snowy morning when suddenly a nearby snowman attacks you!

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